Shit idea goodness

Products:

  • Self-cleaning dog poop scooper that throws the waste directly into a composting bin while playing the national anthem.
  • A subscription box for raccoons, filled with tiny trash cans, pizza crusts, and mini glow sticks.
  • A line of scented candles inspired by historical disasters, like “Black Plague Bouquet” and “Chernobyl Chai.”
  • VR goggles that simulate the experience of being a houseplant, complete with occasional watering and sunlight deprivation.
  • Automatic fish feeder that dispenses tiny motivational quotes instead of flakes.

Services:

  • Professional third-wheel dating service, guaranteeing you’ll be the least interesting person on the date.
  • Competitive napping league, where contestants race to fall asleep and stay unconscious the longest.
  • Professional beard braiding for birds, with styles like “Majestic Mohawks” and “Feathered French Twists.”
  • Life coaching for inanimate objects, helping furniture find its purpose and socks reunite with their lost partners.
  • Underground dogfighting league…but with puppies and marshmallows instead of teeth and claws.

Events:

  • Annual International Thumb Twiddling Championship, judged on speed, dexterity, and overall thumb-twiddling flair.
  • Silent disco rave where everyone wears noise-canceling headphones and dances to their own internal rhythm.
  • Competitive staring contest held in a pitch-black room, with the winner determined by the first person to blink or develop involuntary third eyelids.
  • Reverse escape room: you start outside and have to figure out how to get locked back in a comfortable, padded cell.
  • Giant hamster wheel race for humans, powered by laughter and questionable life choices.

Of course, these are just a few sparks of ridiculousness to get your creative juices flowing. Feel free to take these ideas and run with them, add your own twists, and create the most magnificently terrible things your mind can conjure. Just remember, the “shittier” the idea, the more fun it can be!

And hey, who knows, maybe one of these “shit ideas” will actually turn into something brilliant. After all, the line between genius and…well, you get the picture, is awfully thin sometimes.

So, embrace the absurd, unleash your inner mad scientist, and let’s see what ridiculous masterpieces we can come up with together!


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